Maybe She's With Spalding Gray

My nighttime, anti-glare digital photography is obviously not a personal strength, but this "missing girl poster" qualifies as the weirdest fucking one I've ever seen and needed to be captured immediately. I couldn't risk it being gone tomorrow. It's posted outside the Tasty Goody on Lincoln in Venice-- lately my favorite Chinese restaurant because of it's warm, generic ambiance and its helpings so generous that the tasty goodness lasts for at least two meals. And what is clearly so striking about this poster, although I probably don't have to explain it to you, is that this guy Dave is looking for this girl Mariah/Nikita, and the way in which Dave does this is to put up a poster with pictures of her squeezing her breasts together, of her in some sort of maidish costume with her legs spread, and of her in a Frederick's of Hollywood matchy-matchy undie and camisole set. On top of this, he is offering the hefty sum of 200 dollars to anyone who can locate her, and 200 dollars to Mariah/Nikita herself if she'll just come home.

Yeah, I understand why she has decided to go missing. Dave, really. It's not like I'm going to be strolling down Lincoln and pass Mariah/Nikita, failing to make the identification from the completely useful headshots provided on the poster, but then look down at the scoop of her tank top neckline, see her ample boobage, and be like "Now where I have I seen those suckers before? Oh yes, the Tasty Goody! Get me speedily to my princely reward!"

Sometimes I, too, enter into a withdrawal mode and turn off my phone and stop responding to the calls and visits of loved ones, but it is my hope that none of these people in my life will plaster the front window of Pick Up Stix with assorted softcore sex shots, and that they will offer me and strangers more than 2 hundo to tell them I'm not lying in a gutter somewhere, my cleavage turning blue.

Comments

I put the post on the wrong thing.