"Yo-- ladies and gents. Dick here. I'm theeee blog. I'm fully cognizant that some pair of legs slapped the "name" "This Afternoon In Drama" on me, and I've been hush-hush-little-baby about it for a long time now, but I'm Dick. I was Dick in the beginning when I poked my head out from the CPU's warm womb into the fresh internet air. I'm Dick for life. But, look here, it's time to go balls to the wall because today, good friends, marks my second birthday. Happy birthday to Dicky boy! I know, I know, I know, you're looking upon my somewhat rough visage and thinking I look a little worse-for-the-wear for only being two years-old. But you gotta understand that blog years are worse than dog years. They're worse than hamster years. For every human year, a blog ages eighteen-and-a-half, buddies. When 2007 rolls around, I plan on being ass-deep in my mid-life crisis. I'm going to get hair plugs and go pump some pretty new jailbait that pops up on Live Journal.
So today on the Channel 7 news I heard that this scientist broad up north is screwing with DNA, and she's figured out how to extend the life of a worm times six. That's SEX-tupling, ladies and gents. Slapping my knee. Dicky here, though, I'm not so keen on sextupling my existence. If I look like this now, by five-hundred-something the chicks at Cocktails And Dancing are going to be happier about banging a walking, talking prune, right? Ohhh, it's too much for me to think about. Don't want to explode this beeeyoooty of a head. Anyway, just poking myself (oh, boy, back to the knee slapping) in to say happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Dickkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyy. Oh, and that pair of legs is taking off the rest of this week in celebration of her own birthday. If you want my opinion, she looks like shit for only being fourteen."