The Old Latin Spelling of "Official"

I know that traditionally, it's the birthday girl who receives the presents, but this year I thought I'd turn the tables and give a little something to my parents, who, twenty-nine years ago, gave me to me.  Also, me to the casually stalkerish guy who used to email me massive, urgent messages nonstop and who showed up to my last reading to stare hostilely at me from one of the more front-most rows.  He doesn't really email anymore.  What, did I get too old or something?

Anyway, I wrote you guys a song, intended as a throwback to those precious first days when you first brought me into this world then home from the hospital.  It's set to the tune of "Away in a Manger" because I've always liked to think of myself as your own little baby Jesus.  Your baby Jesusa.  Look at me, getting sentimental.  On to the gift:

Awaaaaaay in the kitchen
Crib dumped where the Seigels fed
Little baby Andrea
Screamed off her sweet head

The colic so bad
They ditched her down there
The little baby Andrea
In gastrointestinal despair

On the home's second floor
With their door tightly shut
Little baby Andrea's parents slept
While pain stabbed at her gut

Wikipedia says
If I'd been breast-fed
Colic might have not
Chopped away at my tender, baby stomach like an axe head
Liiiiiiiiiike an axe head.

Comments

[Cheryl]

But amazingly, the cake decorators got "Seigel" right. Happy 29th!

[bree]

I can't wait to see Dad's reply.

[andrea seigel]

my mom's already contending, "we never shut the door."