Naturally, every year I choose a different wrapping theme for my gifts, and inspired by the phenomenally handsome chair I brought home earlier this year, for 2008 I chose "A Very Polo Holiday." Funny thing is, apparently Jews aren't warming up to plaid as a festive Hanukah pattern, so I nearly had to put the kibosh on my plans when I couldn't find any Polo-inspired paper that didn't explicitly reference the red-and-green color scheme. When one day I happened to wander into The Container Store to purchase a container, I nearly lost my shit for a good minute to discover that they sold rolls of a purple-and-gold plaid paper, which I decided would work beautifully for my Hanukah recipients because that whole blue-and-white motif is just some bullshit reference to Israel's flag and not really inherent to the traditions of the holiday itself, which of course existed before the Jewish state. The gold, I thought, was a shout-out to the oil that burned for eight miraculous nights, and the purple...I'm sure there was some purple somewhere in the temple. I've noticed rabbis love purple velvet, in particular.
And then last night the present-receiving commenced! My boyfriend came up with some pretty exciting stuff, including these custom M&Ms, half of which bear the intensely gorgeous face of my dog:
And half which feature me and my boyfriend, who on an M&M looks much more ominous than he does in life. Not that I'm saying he isn't ominous-- that's part of the attraction, that he might kidnap me at any given moment-- but here the menace is dialed up just a bit, like I can almost taste the car trunk when I pop this into my mouth.
And here are my new custom plaid (maybe by now, you understand how I feel about plaid) pajamas, boldly emblazoned with the name the hostess at Roy's took down for me as a result of my mumbling.
"Amandrea?" she repeated, a panicky look crossing her face as she realized she had to make a comment because her tone had gone incredulous when echoing the name. "Oh, that's beautiful."