I missed the John Burroughs Pop Show last year, which I had watched on tape since 2002 and attended since 2003, because I was busy with an eating disorder that compelled me to finish off all the condiments in the house. It wasn't that I couldn't leave the house to go to the auditorium because I was too busy with a jar of honey mustard, but more like I was so consumed and depressed about the way that honey mustard consumed me that I forgot it was that time of year again. When I realized the show had come and gone, it was the worst feeling to know that a destructive compulsion had stepped in the way of one that had always made me feel so positively about life.
I've written here before about the adorable redheaded boy who looks like America to me; in other words, who looks like the grown-up version of the kid on my collector's Kellogg's Cornflakes bowl, except with a tiny gold hoop earring. He opened the show. And I swear I could have cried at seeing him if not for feeling very dead inside due to my dad's cancer, the stress of making sure the third book is what I know it can be, and an increased and distracting fear of planes (amongst other concerns), because I thought that the redheaded boy had graduated last year. I'd been sure that I'd missed his last show, and when he appeared to welcome everyone, I could have cried.
The other day I was talking with my boyfriend about how I used to think I was the shit when my dad picked me up from dance class and had me run into the pizza place in my leotard to get our family's order. I'd been convinced that every person in the restaurant was in awe of me: a young, healthy, vibrant dancer. The fact probably was that no one was bowled over by the sight of me as dancer, with the exception of any pedophiles who might have been enjoying an in-house slice.
Watching the opening number of Pop Show 30: "Still the One," I stared up at all the ebullient faces (being incredibly close this year, I could even make out the sparkles in eyes), and the performers had that look I used to wear into the pizza parlor, the last time I was sure I was important without good cause. Seeing it on them made me feel a little less dead inside. And then, as the show continued, I realized that the students in the show had as good a cause as any to feel that the entire auditorium was in awe of them because they deserved it, because I was.
Before I get into what changed, I want to remark on what remained the same, and thankfully so. There were still the female group numbers featuring identical costumes that continue to provide instruction on just how dramatically different a sparkling bath towel can look on the most innocent of chests versus mountainous breasts. There were still the gowns slit further than Lisa Rinna has dared yet to go. There were still the simulated blow jobs: during a punchy song and dance number to Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold," the girls whipped the boys with their hair, and then the boys appeared to get them back for that violence by taking hold of the girls' heads while they sat on the floor, bringing them to their crotches, and pantomiming oral sex, all the while wearing the kickiest Miami Vice white leisure suits.
There was still the skinny, slinky blonde in an outfit sure to make someone's dad's head pop off-- this time in a Sailor Moon costume that looked as if it had been through the warm cycle ten times, her long hair in pigtails that kept time with her hips (swaying to a rendition of Nina Simone's "Feeling Good"). Mr. Peebles, the math teacher, came out per usual and did his rap, "Do Your Math," to the tune of Rihanna and T.I.'s "Live Your Life," and, per usual, got ahead of himself spitting out mile-a-minute math puns and had to bounce around for awhile, waiting for the chorus to kick back in.
But the repeated element of Pop Show that I love the most is the way that the guys blur the lines between straight and gay and seem to be doing so intentionally, I think partly as a comment on how assumptions are unwelcome, and partly as an act of team protection. The past few years I've watched as all-male song and dance group "Men @ Work" has done some flaming work to ambiguous numbers. This Pop Show they sang a medley about female love interests that began with Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl," which was accompanied by some of the gayest dancing I've ever seen. If you think I'm making an unwelcome assumption about flipped wrists, then consider that the number ended with two members clasping hands in the middle of the stage and doing a double herkie together while winking at the audience. A herkie, for those of you who weren't on the junior varsity pep squad (by the time I'd hit the junior varsity pep squad, I didn't think special outfits in pizza parlors did anything for me anymore), is a cheer move comprised of a vertical jump in the air with legs bent and toes pointed. Capping off the song, it was performed as a knowing joke referencing the nervousness about kissing girls, and it seemed to say, "Men @ Gay, Campy Work," except for the fact that part of the group is gay, part isn't, and they make no attempt to differentiate.
As the medley about girls transitioned to a Spanish-themed medley about girls, a handful of the members reappeared on stage. Changed into Gaucho costumes, they danced the tango with life-sized rag women. They clutched onto the limp dolls, whose heads wouldn't stay up, the adorable redheaded boy particularly adorable as he giggled his way through the steps with an inanimate partner who kept drooping toward the floor. And then, after realizing that romance just wasn't going to happen with their "ladies," the guys abruptly threw them off the stage, shrugging as if to say, "Hey, we tried." Then the rest of the large group ran in and the guys happily, easily danced with each other through the 98 Degrees "Uno Noche" finale.
All this just to say, every guy in the group looks pretty gay and very comfortable giving that impression. You'd have to see it for yourself because in writing I worry it could be confused with the self-consciousness of the straight guys at my high school who either had to dress up like women whenever they wanted to do an all-out, jazzy dance routine to let you know that they were totally kidding, or who participated in musical theater only when the male roles were sufficiently masculine. For example, when they could get into flannel shirts and when dancing only meant twirling around real, live girls in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. On the Burroughs stage, there is something good-natured and even touching about the ambiguity; maybe it's just for show, but it feels like these guys have flung their arms around each other, with none of the winking.
To be continued.
please send me a dvd. please. I am ill and I could use the pick me up. can I buy one online?
Posted by: bree | February 25, 2009 at 06:24 PM
they exist. i'll look into getting you one.
Posted by: andreaa | February 25, 2009 at 06:32 PM
Andreaaaaa
I am so pleased to see you shacking up - that and Gabrielle being knocked up makes me feel like my girls are growing up!
I did not attend Pop Show! this year because my teacher friend was canned by Burroughs last year. This following their Holiday show (like pop show but only for school & family) which was totally Jesus-y and the sole Hanukkah song was horrid and creepily anti-semitic - - he spoke to the administration and only asked that since they didn't seem to have any Jews at the school (besides him) that maybe they should make it all Christmas because it was sort of offensive, and he didn't mind if they skipped recognizing Hanukkah altogether- as it isn't that important a holiday - but it made him uncomfortable that they just made it a big joke. Apparently that—and taking off the High Holy days—makes you a pariah at Burroughs.
Even weirder - with all the totally gay kids in perf arts there - same year - the administration also wouldn't let them do 'the Laramie Project' as the school play - they pulled the plug and the drama class had to find some local community playhouse to perform it in.
Just sayin - Burroughs is very Stepford.
P.S. I read ahead to your next post and I am thrilled about the book being done!!
Posted by: eileen | February 28, 2009 at 09:39 PM
I am literally looking for a taped version of "Do Your Math" is it sad I was singing it today...
Posted by: eric mathew | March 12, 2009 at 05:56 PM